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If you think anything like I do, you’d be scoffing at my title. Especially since most of my readers are not from first world countries and can’t imagine what problems a first world country might have, but don’t give up on me just yet.

First of all allow me to admit shamefully that it’s been a while, I know -_-

As some of you may know I am relocating to the U.S. (a task more arduous than expected in this lousy economy) and my life has been less than exciting, filled mostly with applications and research.

Now as for my title: My brother has been living in the U.S. for seven years now. It was he who introduced me to the term “First world problems” in reply to a banal post I put on Facebook about some show that I was watching. Ever since then it has been haunting me. Needless to say that I find the term hilariously ‘oxymoron-ic’, hence why you should read this post taking into consideration my tone of sarcasim.

Without further ado, below is a list of problems that I have experienced during my time in the first world: (Keep in mind I may make references to Vancouver since I lived there for some time before coming to Maryland)

1- The only time I ever tweet anymore is when I’m watching “So You Think you Can Dance” … Sigh …

2- I’ve been so unmoved that watching “Lost” has become obsessive. Only ‘Lost’ fans will understand this reference: Whenever I hear a constant beeping sound I frantically try to remember that sequence of numbers I have to punch into the computer to save the world. “Was it 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and TWENTY FOUR OR FORTY TWO !?!? OH NO WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!”

3- I had to pay $3.00 to get into a very bland park with a couple benches, barbeque posts and a miserable hiking trail here in Columbia and I will not let it go. Please someone explain to me why they need the three dollars to maintain that? NO ONE LITTERS and I think our tax dollars are more than enough to pay for initially equipping the park. I did not see a single park ranger either, so don’t give me that BS…. If you trip and fall in Vancouver you land in a beautiful FREE park, with all of the above mentioned equipment included. Bonus points for Canada successfully using their tax dollars.

4- Vancouver’s bone chilling weather keeps away the bugs and mosquitoes… and in that case, I’d rather be cold, any day! At least on some days you can get some WARM sun if you’re lucky. Here in Maryland, you get NO days without bugs, although lightening bugs are cool from afar o__0 .

5- I gave myself carpal tunnel syndrome from applying to jobs that I am OVER qualified for and not even hearing back! I can now recite my CV in my sleep.

6- Americans are seriously unprepared for disaster. Many counties in Maryland lost power because of a serious storm a couple weeks ago. People were walking around like zombies looking for caffeine because YOU CAN’T EVEN HEAT WATER WITHOUT ELECTRICITY. It took them three days to restore our power, during which we migrated from mall to restaurant just to charge our phones and benefit from some AC. In Lebanon, you would have at least two back-up systems (UPS or ‘Moter’ ) for when the electricity cuts – which is all the time- and if you don’t have a back-up, you can at least play cards with the neighbors or sort some parsley which is too expensive to have at hand here.

7- In Lebanon and Cairo, I used to go days sometimes without checking my Facebook account. If I did spend eight hours back to back on Facebook it was at night, which is a huge difference from spending eight hours back to back in broad day-light. Not to mention having a 4G connection (that actually works) on my smartphone – NO UPDATE GOES UNCHECKED!

8- In Vancouver, both men and women, young or old, think it’s morally acceptable to spit on the floor in public. In my eyes – BIG PROBLEM! Or am I just so narrow minded that I find it un-ladylike to leave giant loogies like footprints behind you?

9- Confused seasons. Now I don’t know what it’s been like in Lebanon weather wise, although I hear that it is consistently hot. HOWEVER, for all the years I have lived in Lebanon, summer = summer, winter = winter, fall = fall and spring = spring. If it rained in summer it was a freak incident. Let’s take a look at what I observed in the first world. Summer in Vancouver = VERY COLD and rainy except on a few ‘freak incidents’ of sunny days. Summer in Columbia, Maryland = occasional yet frequent thunderstorms and rain BECAUSE of intense heat —->; WHAT IS THE WEATHER’S PROBLEM?!?!!?


Basically what I’m saying is, the first world’s main problem, is that there are no real problems- aside from the economic crises which just makes it ALMOST as bad as finding a job in Lebanon.